Healthy Marriage Movie Guide: Wonder

Discussion:

Scene 1: Auggie’s parents argue over whether they should send him to school for the 5^th grade year. How do you figure out a direction to take when you don’t agree? How could you help to ease your spouse’s worries, such as in this case where the father just doesn’t want to see his son be emotionally hurt?

Scene 2: Auggie meets fellow 5^th graders for the first time. Julian starts picking on/bullying him. Has there been a time you were targeted for bullying? Often in marriage we start to expect perfection from our spouse. This can lead to bullying, over-sarcasm, and passive-aggressive behavior. What are three qualities you admire in your spouse?

Scene 3: Auggie’s parents and sister drop him off on his first day of school. This is a big step for them, his parents have already been through so much in their relationship, stresses added due to Auggie’s situation. How would a situation like this strengthen and also strain your marriage?

Scene 4: “Who do I aspire to be…what kind of person am I?” -Mr. Browne. What two things do you wish people could know about you right away, but more importantly, what two things do you wish your spouse to know about you, to truly know you better/best?

The mom tells the family at dinner that she was looking into getting her thesis off a floppy disc, which she had put on hold when Auggie was born. Her husband says that it is a great idea. In what ways can you support and encourage each other in your personal pursuits? What would you like in the way of support from your spouse?

Auggie’s mom is in his room telling him how important he is. The father is seen peering through the doorway on this intimate conversation. She is telling him that he is not ugly. In what ways is your spouse a great parent or encourager? Have you had to lift each other in challenging times?

Via often feels left out, living in the shadow of her brother. Have you felt that way in different groups of people? How does your spouse help you to feel important? What out of the ordinary things could you as a couple do to feel “cool”?

Via and Justin are talking about who would cheer for her if she were in the school play. He tells her that he would cheer for her and that her grandma is still cheering for her. Who cheers you on? Who have been your cheerleaders through life? How do you want to be the best cheerleader for each other and for children and other family members?

Via is home from school and telling her mom about how Miranda has changed, and she doesn’t have that friendship to rely on anymore. Her mom just listens to what she is saying, doesn’t try to fix it. She tells her that she experienced similar things in high school and that the only way she can see to “fix it” is to eat a whole bowl of Halloween candy. She validates Via’s feelings. Do you listen to your spouse when they are having struggles, or are you trying to fix it?

How does it feel when someone simply listens and offers nothing more than understanding and a hug?

Via’s parents have found out about the play the night before it goes live. They are in the kitchen arguing about wanting to go to it. The dad is saying it’s not a big deal, but the mom says, “Nate, would you please excuse us?” The dad backs off and Via is on her own to discuss it with her mom. Who holds the authority in different situations in your home? Are you comfortable with it?

Daisy, the family dog is sick (and dies). What things have been a part of your marriage, but have come to an end? Pets and children can be a shared goal/interest in marriage. What are some fond memories you share?

Life gets busy. For this family there is the obvious of work, school for the kids, the kids, but added circumstances that they had since Auggie’s birth. How can you make time for each other and not be too caught up in all these things? So often we put our marital relationship on the back-burner during the thickness of childrearing and such circumstances, but this relationship is vital to the health of the entire family.

In the beginning of the movie Auggie’s mother says that she knows him better than anyone. How can you know your spouse better than anyone? Do you? With the responsibility to know each other best, how do you treat each other different/better than others?

Scene 14: Nate and his wife are shown having a morning date in the living room after they drop Auggie off for his field trip. She shows him her finished thesis and he hands her a present. In what ways can you be creative in dating your spouse? They found a niche of time to celebrate each other.

Scene 15: Auggie’s dad says to him about the school year, “I’m proud of you for sticking it out.” What tough times have you stuck together through?

Scene 16: Part of Mr. Browne’s final precept was “…If you really want to see what people are, all you have to do is look.” What are your thoughts on this? How can you better “look” at your spouse?