Healthy Marriage Movie Guide --Sweet Home Alabama

Communicating with the one you are married to is so important. Watch this movie and see the trouble that is caused by poor communication.

Discuss:

Scene 1: “Why would you want to marry me for anyway?” “So I can kiss you anytime I want.” What is your favorite thing about marriage?

Melanie’s boyfriend proposes, and it is a huge surprise, but she says yes. What was your proposal like? Reminisce on this together.

What qualities were important to you when you were deciding who to marry? Has that list of important qualities changed as you have grown and matured together?

Melanie shows back up in Alabama. She heads on over to her HUSBAND’S house and asks (again) for a divorce (since she is now engaged to another man). They haven’t even talked in years and you can see that they pick back up where they left off: arguing. When disagreements go left unfinished it does not strengthen a relationship. What strength has come from you and your spouse finishing a “fight” or hard discussion? 

As Jake is trying to get Melanie arrested and out of the house he tells the sheriff, who is an old friend, that memory lane is closed. As the sheriff (Wade) is about to leave, Jake is spouting off things that Melanie has done that might get her taken to the big house. What fun, exciting, or crazy things did you do when you were dating? What creative things could you do to bring out some laughs in your marriage (obviously legal things)?

“Your mama’s a complex woman”. This is what Melanie’s dad says after she bursts open with the news that she is engaged. What things does your spouse know/get about you that others don’t quite see?

Melanie is reminded that she still has access to her and Jake’s joint account at the bank. To try to get what she wants, she uses this to her “advantage” to bother Jake. In marriage it is important to be all in, committed and working through things in life together. How does sharing all things in marriage give you confidence in each other?

Jake and Melanie are arguing, and he tells her that he doesn’t have to tell her about his business-she doesn’t tell him about her boyfriend. She is shocked to find out that he knows she has been seeing someone. They have a tender moment, really where Melanie finally gives some thought to the good times. Then he breaks and says he is going to take some time to look at the divorce papers. How could this scene have gone differently, meaning, had a better ending? 

Melanie is at the bar and acting better than everyone, her husband and old friends, just making a scene. How important is it to act kind to people? Would Jake and Melanie been able to reconcile better if she had shown up and been kind and excited to see people?

Jake drives drunk Melanie home, puts her in her bed. What kind of compassion do you see in him from this act? How does love trump the frustration we can feel for people at times?

We find out that Melanie left for 7 years, did not talk to her husband. Once she finally gets what she wants, her papers signed, she starts to wish she knew about all the things she has missed in the 7 years, asking Jake about business and things. Looking back over your marriage so far, what wonderful things have happened?

Melanie’s last name is actually Smooter. She has told many unnecessary lies along the way of her career, because she has been embarrassed by who she is and where she came from. How can you be confident in who you are and happy and content with the things you have in your marriage?

Melanie’s friend tells her about how Jake went to apologize to her about a year after she went to New York, but that he realized that it was a place she wanted to be, and he needed to be more to get her back. What things do you work on to impress your spouse, and to be able to give them what they want?

Melanie, Jake, and all their friends are out dancing and having a good time. Jake dances with a friend and Melanie dances with that friend’s husband. What does having friends and getting together add to your marriage? How can you better incorporate this kind of activity into your marriage?

Melanie goes to the Coon Dog Cemetery. She says she has been ‘pretty selfish’ lately. When you come to realizations of your own mistakes, how do you decide to move forward and be better? Is it hard to humble yourself to your spouse?

“it’s just nerves. You’re doing the right thing.” Her mom is always pushing her to do something different, because she wants Melanie to have a better life than she had. What are your own dreams for your marriage? How do you hope to feel about each other?

Melanie finds, while walking down the aisle, that she is still married to Jake. Her heart is hurting as she realizes even more, that she wants to be with Jake, who she truly loves and loves her. What things does your spouse do for you that helps you to feel true love?

How can you live your dreams, but keep the honoring of your marriage the top priority? 

In regards to this quote and this movie, what do you think?

In what ways do you think that Jake and Melanie will have to work on falling in love again, even though they seem all in after their 7 year hiatus?