My Big Fat Greek Wedding --Healthy Marriage Movie Guide

My Big Fat Greek Wedding

A wedding is just the beginning of a marriage. Discuss the following questions after viewing this fun movie!

Boundaries

è As the movie begins, Toula’s family all start their day at the restaurant. Her father, aunt, and uncle are discussing her lack of love life. She is 30 years old and this is all open discussion among the family. What topics in your marriage need to be/are private, between the two of you?

è This Greek family was loud, in each other’s business, but close and very concerned for each other. What things exemplified are the same and different within your extended families?

Love At First Sight

è Toula stood gaping at Ian when he was at the restaurant with his friend. Do you remember how you felt when you met your spouse for the first time? Discuss this meeting.

è Ian and Toula spend a lot of time talking about each other’s lives, families, likes, and dislikes. This is quite typical in the early stages of a relationship. When was the last time you spent uninterrupted hours together just talking? How/when can you find the time?

è “Oh, I put some Windex on it.” If only Toula would have taken her father’s advice she wouldn’t have had a zit on her face for her wedding. What weird advice have you been given in marriage, good or bad? 

è “Let’s go to Vegas…Can we go to Fiji?” Toula is at the school telling Ian about the “catastrophe” in her family. Do you rely on each other when things are hard? What are your worries and frustrations right now, in life?

One Way or Another

è Gus and Maria are in the bedroom discussing Toula going to school. Previously Maria told Toula, “The man may be the head, but the woman is the neck and she can turn the head any way she wants.” How do you persuade each other to go with the things you want/desire? In what ways can you improve these types of discussions? It is important to council often in marriage about the things that are important to us, going on in our lives and the things that will affect us and our families.

è Maria and Toula’s aunt are discussing how they will get Gus to believe he came up with the idea of Toula working at the travel agency. They are “teaming up”. In marriage it can often be useful to team up, discussing things before hand to put forth a strong front with parenting and interactions with other people. What can you do to be better prepared to be a strong, united front in parenting and when facing situations with others?

Family Relations

è Obviously, this movie accentuates things for entertainment and to try to laugh at distinct cultural things, all in good humor, but Maria and Gus are very on top of their children’s lives. How would you hope to approach the empty nest stage of marriage? How should your role as parents change as your children reach adulthood and at some point, marry?

è Toula and Ian’s families are very different—starting with a comparison of their parents. How have the differences in your families of origin played a role in your relationship?

è What aspects of yours and your spouse’s parent’s marriage do you wish to emulate?

è Toula’s grandmother is living with them. She is brought back to the house late at night by a neighbor. How would you deal with an aging parent needing to be cared for? How would you find balance and time for each other with this extra adult in the house, especially with extra circumstances, such as this grandma’s memory?

è  What potential stresses on a marriage come with having an in-law under-roof? 

è Ian met Toula’s whole family on Easter. When did you first meet your spouse’s extended family? Who are the loud ones or the ones that make the best “show”?